dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
