the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
