i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
