My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
