his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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