I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
