I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize