Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
