I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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