dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
