HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
