What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
