my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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