found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
