there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
