your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
