and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
