My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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