So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize