And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
