I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
