I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
