Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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