One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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