I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
