Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
