Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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