We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
