I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
