But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
