if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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