It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
