my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
