That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
