Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
