dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dicks are not precious.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
