i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
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