Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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