you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
