You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
