Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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