4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
