that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
