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"it" just moved
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize