Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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