Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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