We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
