Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
