i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
