Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You left your phone here
Wait...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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