So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
