I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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