No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
