i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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