I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
