i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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