Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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