is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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