:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
