Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
