HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
